Broken Finger, Healing Heart

A few months ago I went snowboarding and during the trip I ended up breaking my middle finger on my right hand. I am right handed. This was inconvenient to say the least. I do not have medical insurance so I did what every body else does and looked it up online...and there is nothing to do but put a splint on it. Well I did. I splinted it…for a few days at least. It was inconvenient so I took it off to do important stuff like wrestling, taking pictures, driving, lifting weights…ect. Well surprise, surprise, I kept re-breaking it. It has been about 5 months now and I still have a broken finger. Maybe the worst part is that I still don’t have any strength in it. I cant even open my own jelly jars. It is a bit embarrassing. I put the splint on when it hurts and then when it feels mostly good and it is inconvenient I take it off and wait until I am broken again. I have been repeating this cycle way too long.

Here is the real lesson of this blog:

I was telling this story to our great Bishop Haight. As I rehearsed this to him I felt the sweet spirit tell me that this is how most of us use the Atonement.

We think of it is a splint. We put it on when it hurts and then when we feel mostly good and it is inconvenient and gets in the way of what we want to do, we set it aside, do our own thing, until we are broken again…and so the cycle goes.

The Atonement is not a splint. It is not temporary. It is not something that can be put on and taken off. It is a heart surgery. It is permanent and it changes who we are.

In order to have a heart surgery we spend hours in a prep room. We must have faith in our surgeon. We must believe he knows what he is doing, that he has a plan. We must believe he has the ability to heal us. We must believe he wants what is best for us. Because of our belief in him, we have faith in him. That is to say we take action. We work on his time schedule. We lay on his table. We allow him to cut us in half, pry our chest open, and slice our heart in order to fix it. We take the medication he prescribes.

It is painful.

Do we allow Christ the same opportunities to heal our hearts? Do we believe that he has a plan? Do we believe that he wants what is best for us? Are we willing to work on his time schedule? Are we willing to stand in his holy places? Do we believe that he has the ability to heal us? Does our belief move us to action? Are we willing to lay down our will and allow him to cut us to the core in order to fix/change our hearts? Are we willing to read his words and fast pray as he has prescribed?

It is my testimony that Christ does in fact have the power to change our hearts. He has a plan. He has the ability. He wants what is best for us. He loves me. He knows me and cares what I am doing in my life. I know that the Atonement is real. That through the Atonement we have the power to gain strength. I want to have the faith in Him to use the atonement as a heart surgery and quit using it as a splint. I want more strength and power in my life. I have the medication and orders from the Surgeon. May God grant me the strength to use them!

* I said “we” above, but I meant “I”.